Surviving or Thriving in Academia: Autoethnographic Accounts of Non-Visibly Disabled Grads' Experiences of Inclusion and Exclusion

Abstract

Using autoethnography, combined with qualitative data collected through innovative online methods, this dissertation explores the experience of navigating the emotional geographic space of graduate school for non-visibly disabled students such as learning disabilities, and mental health disabilities at two southern Ontario universities. Autoethnography merges tenets of ethnography and autobiography to allow researchers to prioritize their own experiences as valuable data and “making it possible to construct the ethnographic scenes that happened and the fictional scenes that didn’t—but could have” (Ellis, 2004, p. xx). As such, the work produced by autoethnography is “expressive rather than representational” (Kiesinger, 1998, p. 74) This dissertation is a narrative based on real and fictionalized events told through dialogue between the author, a composite character, and six co-participant graduate students who provide their stories through e-mails and a collaborative blog. Academic literature, observations, areas for future research, and recommendations are woven into the dialogue and layered throughout the dissertation in non-dialogic sections. Davidson and Milligan (2004) posits, “Our emotional relations and interactions weave through and help form the fabric of our unique personal geographies” (p. 523). By focusing on unacknowledged and misunderstood “emotional labor” (managing emotions in paid work environments) and emotion work (managing emotions in unpaid work environments) (Hochschild, 1983), this dissertation demonstrates how non-visibly disabled students must perform “extra work” that distinguishes their experiences and the effort required to navigate the spaces and places of academia. With a specific focus on the process of acquiring and implementing academic and workplace accommodations, it draws on the literatures and theoretical insights of emotional geography and critical disability studies to demonstrate how these disabilities are misunderstood and stigmatized, which results in an accommodation process that is both humiliating and inadequate to support non-visibly disabled graduate students. Thus, understanding the emotional geography of the accommodation process is vital to creating effective academic and workplace accommodations for non-visibly disabled graduate students.