You Taught Me to Hate Myself, Let Me Show You How You Did That: An Autoethnography about Navigating Accessibility Services as a Black Woman with a Disability

Abstract

Despite there being enormous amounts of research on disability, and how disability is experienced, when parameters such as higher education, race and gender are considered alongside disability, the research documented becomes limited; and even more so when each of these parameters are in combination with each other. The aim of this study is to use Critical Disability Theory, Feminist Theory, and Intersectionality to better understand how I have experienced accommodation as a Black woman with a disability within an academic environment. I use Autoethnography to detail my own lived experience to investigate if the institutional response (of providing accommodations and its practices along with it) aligns with my lived experience as the student on the receiving end. The findings from this study suggest that there is misalignment between the institutional response and the student experience thus causing a struggle of identity outside of the medicalized identity recognized by Accessibility Services. It is my hope that those who read this thesis adopt a ‘nothing about us, without us’ attitude towards Accessibility Services. I hope readers will see that students with disabilities need to be included in the conversation of accommodations with Accessibility Services offices in post-secondary institutions because stories like mine (as a Black woman with a disability and a life-long service user of this school provided service) demand to be acknowledged and be felt as the “supposed” benefactors of this service. Because without us, this service would not exist. And yet, without our voices heard this service continues to exist as it does. Our voices, bodies and lived experiences should be validated as appropriate “measures” to determine accessibility, accommodation and learning needs.