MOTHERING THROUGH SUBSTANCE USE: A Narrative Case Study Contextualizing One Woman’s Experience of Mothering While Engaging in Substance Use

Abstract

Motherhood has been set up as an institution of control over women by the patriarchy. Dominant ideas of motherhood and what constitutes being a good mother are steeped in patriarchal ideals and conceptual thoughts. What is absent from ideas of motherhood is the female lived experiences of mothering. Mothering, by contrast, is the conceptual understanding of what it means to be a mother from a women-centered perspective. Under the dominant discourse of motherhood, mothers are self-sacrificing, generous, calm, patient, and loving. Those mothers who do not meet these standards are constructed as "bad mothers," reinforcing a binary understanding of mothers. This paper challenges the good/bad mother binary by drawing on the lived experience of one mother who uses substances to demonstrate the judgmental road mothers are forced to walk. This thesis takes a feminist-based approach to explore Ruth's story: a mother who engages in substance use. This research is produced through a feminist ontology to add to a body of scholarship that works to create a counter-discourse for mothers from mothers against dominating patriarchal norms of motherhood. A Narrative case study methodology is applied to Ruth's story to extrapolate the complex realities Ruth faces as she attempts to make sense of her mothering identity within the patriarchal definition of the "good mother." While engaging in substance use, Ruth's mothering story produced four themes that facilitate understanding mothering from a holistic, women-centric lens. First, this research emphasizes the barriers Ruth experiences in building, understanding and maintaining her sense of self. Second, Ruth's story illuminates the impact of the dominant "good" motherhood discourse on how women like Ruth conceptualize themselves as a mother. Third, Ruth's story enables the exploration of the intersectional identities of mothering and substance use in a way that creates space for both identities to work together rather than in opposition. Lastly, reflecting on the surveillance Ruth has endured in relation to her family and interactions with child welfare, her story reveals how discourses of risk are connected to and associated with substance use. Through the exploration of Ruth's mothering experiences, a narrative is produced to challenge and disrupt the oppressive institution of motherhood.